exciting weekend and reflections

This weekend we are having Andrew baptized. I am looking forward to it so much. My brother is coming into town on Friday and he will perform the ceremony. We have immediate family coming and some extended family. My cousin Nellie and her husband Craig are going to be his Godparents. It is going to be such a special weekend. Andrew will be 7 months old. He is such a sweet baby boy. He loves his momma...and I find it adorable. I love my answered prayer and am so thankful that he will have a special welcome into the Catholic church. I really didn't want to wait 7 months to have him baptized but am so glad I did. I feel honored that my brother will be the priest on his baptism certificate. There are so many emotions in me right now.

Andrew isn't nursing as much anymore. I am nursing him in the mornings and sometimes after his dinner. Every morning I look at him and think, is this going to be my last morning? I remember being so nervous about breastfeeding and I was very thankful for the sweet and encouraging comments from my friends to let me know it will be ok and it will come naturally. I think that is the part of breastfeeding I liked the most...it being so natural. I am not a person who cares too deeply about organic things and I don't eat extremely healthy so being able to nurse my baby for as long as I have (granted...he gets formula every day and now I am not the main source of his daily nutrients) has really helped me feel connected to the full circle of life.

At Mommy and Me on Monday we talked about the baby blues. Luckily I didn't feel the baby blues for a long period of time. I definitely had a range of emotions the first week of Andrew's life. I was terrified of being the one who had to make sure he survived the day. Typing that now makes me giggle because what would have happened, but in the same breath so much could have happened. I am more confident now and feel very in-tune with Andrew. My mom was in Hattiesburg for a week and the thought of her leaving left me in tears. The day she left was probably my worst day. But the day ended, Andrew was still alive and happy and I survived. Then it got easier. In away I could feel my hormones and emotions stabilizing during those first weeks. I still don't feel like my hormones are back to "normal" and you know what they may never be normal. I keep thinking that once my body is back to "normal" I will be ready for baby #2 and then we will start all of this over again (God willing).

On my way to pick Andrew up yesterday I was listening to Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah radio and she started off her segment talking about being a working mom versus a stay at home mom and how women judge each other on those decisions. It is no secret I want to be a stay at home mom and Owen and I are still working on that goal. It may not happen in a year like I originally dreamed or hoped but it will happen. It is also no secret that women judge each other and I wonder why that is? People in the media talk about it, articles are written about it, talk shows have shows about it...yet it still happens. I have my personal battles when it comes to the subject but I try not to judge others for their decisions. Maybe b/c I am working yet crave staying at home. Being a mom definitely adds a new layer to life and like most moms we are all trying to be the best we can be for ourselves, husbands and children.

Those are just some of the things I have been thinking about this week...my sweet baby boy, emotional roller-coasters, and being a good mom.