36 weeks pregnant with Sam

I am 36 weeks pregnant with Sam. I feel like I am definitely at the end of the pregnancy. He is still pretty high, but have noticed him moving down a little each day. I am not dilated but his head is low.

This weekend I started thinking about the week of his birth. I can't believe it is in 3 weeks (22 days to be exact). I have been going back and forth with my thoughts in December b/c of Andrew's birthday, party and Sam. I guess this is how it will be for the rest of my life. Worried and thinking about the two of them. To say I am emotional is an understatement. I have wanted two children (well...really I wanted 5 children...but have since changed my views on that) so being blessed with a second child overwhelms me. I can't wait to meet him. Love him. Kiss him. Cuddle with him. I am even looking forward to him needing me so much in the beginning. What I am having a hard time with is wanting to give him all of this attention and giving all the same attention to Andrew. I try to visualize what my day will look like when Sam is here and Andrew needs me. I never put Andrew down as a baby. I did most everything for him. Sure, Owen helped - when I let him. I was definitely a little controlling when it came to feeding, bath, bed time, etc...I am better now...but have a feeling it will kick in again with Sam. But I am scared to death about that b/c Andrew will need me too. I am so nervous and overwhelmed about how to balance it all.

In other news...Sam's room is complete. I need to take a picture of it. It turned out cute. I have packed his bag for the hospital, but not mine. I guess knowing when he will be born I don't feel the rush to pack mine b/c the mystery is gone. Sure, something could come up...but I just don't have that gut feeling that it will.

In closing...I am very anxious about the unknown yet super excited for my family to be complete. I am not sure how I deserved this good life...but it is times like these that I am so very thankful for the opportunity to be a mom and look forward to seeing Andrew and Sam grow into little boys and men...and praying they are best friends along the way.