Things on my mind

This post maybe lengthy because I just read two very interesting blogs. One blog came from a college acquaintance of mine. We were not in the same circle of friends. She was older than me. However I went to a small school so even though you did not mingle in the same circle, you still had mutual friends and connections. I read her blog the other day and she posted about a friend of hers who had passed away. For some reason I am drawn to these stories. She posted a link to the friends blog and it was then that I read her story (and her husband's story). I do not know this couple. I have no connections with them (besides my college acquaintance), but I was drawn into their life and their story. Here is the blog in case you too are interested in what I am talking about.

http://www.bandssullivan.blogspot.com/

Reading the story of Sara and Brad is something I would never have comprehended 5 years ago...even 2 years ago...but blogging has become something that I enjoy and reading what other people have on their minds is a past time I have come to appreciate. It has made me realize people are very similar. Our stories may have different endings, but they way we think, connect to others, our hopes, joys, and even our struggles are basically the same. The underlying theme of Sara and Brad is their love for each other and for God. Brad writes about God in a friendly way. In a way that is not preachy, yet comforting. I personally feel I have a good relationship with Jesus Christ. I talk to him daily. I pray for my family and friends. Since high school I have been proud of the way I communicate with God (my communication...I don't always listen to him communicating back to me). There have been times in my life where I have put my personal self first and have forgotten to include God. Those are the times I regret the most in my life. I usually don't reflect on my relationship with God b/c I feel it is strong. But after reading the Sullivan's blog I realized I always need to reflect on my relationship because it is one that is ever changing. I know God will not let me down, but I also know that my expectations for how things happen is not always they way God has it planned.

Another reason I felt connected to the Sullivan's blog is because Sara was pregnant during her time with cancer. I can't imagine being sick and growing a baby. I am barely managing growing a baby with all the emotions associated with hormones and life changes. It was yet another reminder to me to Let Go and Let God. Sara did that many times in her pregnancy and during the fight for her life. I know I am talking about them as if I know them, but after reading their story I feel uplifted, sad, emotional and confused. I am using my own blog to sort out these emotions. Yesterday I didn't see the good in me reading the Sullivan's story. In fact I was quite sad and probably not fun to be around. But today is a new day and I am taking the approach of thanksgiving and happiness. I am thankful for Owen and our relationship. I am thankful for becoming a mom in the next 2 months. I am happy that my life has molded itself into the picture I have always dreamed. This brings me to the other blog I read today. I have her blog on my list of blogs, but today she wrote about being single and in your twenties. Here is the link to the post:

http://thebigmamablog.com/4041/the-waiting-is-the-hardest-part-of-waiting/

Being single and being twenty was by far the most challenging decade for me. Actually just 20-25 was challenging. During those years I was in a state of self discovery. Not really knowing where I fit into the world, but trying to make a spot for myself. This post is relevant to me b/c I too had a goal of being a mom and a wife at an early age. I also thought all of this would magically happen but it did not and thank God it didn't happen when I thought it should. I would be a mess if it did. Timing had to work out for me to meet Owen. But I did have to go through the struggles and life lessons to realize how to be the woman I am proud to be now.

Life is a journey and I don't always remember that. I think life is a guarantee and it is not. I am privileged to have the life I do and instead of having regrets or sadness because I don't always get what I want, I need to remember to enjoy the little happiness that life brings me. This is where I need to reevaluate my relationship with God. Knowing He loves me and He understands my deepest thoughts will get me through the challenges of life. Why is it so hard to remember that statement? Thankfully we live in a world now where it is so easy to reach out and read how other people interpret life and God. This week in particular has really helped me make sense of feelings and emotions I have been having. So as odd as it seems to some about reading blogs about people I do not know...they sure have helped me in my life this week.

Love Erin